Two weeks ago I just happened to pick up the novel The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd. I finished it just hours before Mother’s Day began. The book speaks volumes about women, about mothers and daughters, their roles, and the power of love within that relationship. While reading it, I have been thinking of my own mother, my own daughter, beyond that my own grandmothers and great-grandmother, the five generations of women that we make. I am so blessed to have each of them in my life.
Just a year ago, I discovered the intensity that motherhood invites and quietly realized how much my mom has done for me. There have been many moments where I have stood there, exhausted, sweating, smelling like spit up, with this tiny little person who is staking her entire existence on my wit. I’d look around, feeling desperate and alone, thinking - someone must understand!! It was then that I would know for sure: my mom does, she did this for me. Thank you, mama, for everything.
|My Mama and Me|
|My daughter, Amelie, and me, last year on Mother's Day|
In The Secret Life of Bees, the main character has to realize that her mother is not perfect, and she has to let go of the idealized version of her mother that she had created. I am certain that this self-realization becomes very obvious, very quickly, for all new moms. I remember telling Amelie during those first few days that I was sorry, I had no idea what I was doing, so we’d have to learn together. It’s still true. Just when I think I’m really catching on, she changes. I have to remind myself to let go and see where she takes me.
If there are many moments of self-pity as I struggled through those first months as a new mom, there are countless more moments of joy, so strong that sometimes I have felt the urge to get up and dance!
Lots of love today and everyday to all the mamas out there!